Happiness isn’t a yes or no – it’s everything in between.
“Tumi khushi to?” (Are you happy?)
Three words. Sounds simple. But it’s basically life’s version of a popup ad – shows up uninvited, messes with your head, and suddenly you don’t know what button to click.
Because how do you even answer that? Happiness isn’t a checkbox. At work, with friends, during family dinners, in relationships – each part of life has its own version. And let’s be honest, none of them stay consistent.
Take work. Am I happy? Of course. Who wouldn’t be thrilled about SAP dumps at 7 p.m., or managers who call a “quick meeting” and then keep you hostage for an hour? Some days, sure, finishing a piece of code feels good. Other days, it feels like I’m wrestling with Excel sheets designed by Satan. Happy? Depends on the day, the boss’s mood, and the Wi-Fi.
Friends. Yeah, I’m happy there. If you count a WhatsApp group that’s 90% “Let’s plan” and 10% “Bro, sorry, can’t make it.” Back in the day, plans just happened. Now we need a Google Calendar, 17 reminders, and still half won’t show up. Happy? Well, I’m laughing at the memes, so maybe that counts.
Family. Definitely happy. I mean, what’s not to love about catch-ups where your achievements are measured against cousins like it’s some sort of Olympics? “He bought a house. She got married. What about you?” Happiness – apparently best served with side notes of comparison.
Relationships. That’s a fun one. If you’re single, people act like you’re incomplete. If you’re dating, someone asks why you look tired. If you’re married, they want to know when you’re having kids. Happiness comes with milestones – and if you’re not ticking them off on schedule, people assume you’re failing.
So again, am I happy? Depends who’s asking, and what they mean by it.
I remember telling a teammate once, “I don’t think I’m happy.”
He didn’t even look up from his laptop. Just muttered, “Bro, nobody’s happy in Excel. Find your joy outside of it.”
Sarcastic, yes. Accurate, also yes.
Another time, a close friend asked me straight up:
“So, what would make you truly happy?”
I froze. My brain went blank. I joked, “Maybe if someone else did my laundry?”
She rolled her eyes and said, “See? That’s your problem. You keep waiting for happiness to come from outside. Start small. Happiness isn’t imported.”
That line stung more than I admitted at the time.
And that’s the thing – we expect happiness to be permanent. Like once you “arrive,” it stays. But it doesn’t. It shows up in bursts. A late-night conversation with a friend. The first five minutes of silence in the morning. A dumb reel that makes you laugh harder than it should. Finally crossing something off your to-do list.
Here’s the trap though – when someone asks “Are you happy?” they’re not looking for the truth. They want the performance. The smile, the nod, the polite “yeah, I’m good.” But happiness isn’t a performance. It’s a collection of tiny, random, imperfect moments.
And maybe that’s why the question is so tricky. Because nobody is happy all the time. And that’s okay.
Now when people ask me, “Tumi khushi to?” (Are you happy?) I still answer with a smile, “Khushi achhi” (I’m fine). But in my head, I remind myself:
I don’t need a permanent state of happiness to prove I’m okay. I just need enough moments that make the chaos worth it.
Life isn’t a performance—it’s the messy, imperfect moments in between.